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Group Projects

With this spring semester coming to a close, we here at Hawkward Moments thought it would only be appropriate to address one of the most hawkward experiences college has to offer. You’ve been “working” so hard all semester, putting in countless hours at PLC, but then you realize a crucial due date has snuck up on you…

Back in August/September during the first week of classes, your syllabi were distributed, and you anxiously searched for 2 words that can either make or break your semester. Group. Projects. These range from tedious, semester-long ordeals that consume your life (Policy), or five minute Powerpoint presentations that are so simple, yet SO annoying. These are designed for “real life” experience, “real world” practice, and are the most aggravating things ever designed for students.

We here at Hawkward have devised a list of the type of people you’ll encounter when trying to make sense of whatever kind of project you’ve been assigned for your respective classes.

The Slacker: This person never shows up to class, and if they do, they’re usually wearing pajamas and are on Facebook the entire time. They don’t answer emails, and if they do, it’s usually to say, “No, I can’t won’t come to the meeting.” However, know that most slackers won’t even give you that courtesy. The most frustrating kind of slackers usually scramble the last week of the semester and try to completely immerse themselves in the project. They’ll offer to present, or offer to make the Powerpoint because they realize they haven’t done ANYTHING (read: don’t know how to do anything). What they don’t realize is that all of their other group members have turned their meetings into slacker bashing sessions all semester, and plan on destroying them in their peer evaluations. And karma strikes again…

The Foreign Kid: Possibly the most hawkward situation to find yourself in. There is nothing worse than going into a huge 10 minute explanation about the project, only to have the response be a blank stare. This is a delicate situation; your best bet is to be REALLY patient, speak slowly, and find out if it’s necessary and required that everyone in your group present on presentation day…

The Dictator: There are 2 kinds of dictators: one that actually knows what they’re talking about (this actually isn’t a bad situation), and one that has no idea, but feels the need to control every aspect of the project even if they’re actually really bad at it. (To be quite frank, this sucks.) And how do you overthrow a dictator? You cut off their resources…

The Kid Who Tries Really Hard But Still Just Doesn’t Get It: This person comes to the meetings, appears to works really hard, makes their deadlines, and is pleasant to be around. That is, until you actually read their contributions and realize that everything they worked on sounds like a 3rd grader wrote it. Happy editing, hawks!

So that being said, best of luck to everyone attempting to come up with say, an entire advertising campaign, or make a video go viral, or even come up with some last minute blog posts this week#hawkward.

Last Weeks of School

If you’re reading this you’re 98% likely to be going through the Last Weeks of School dilemma. There’s something undoubtedly difficult about the last weeks of school. Is it the 80 degree weather or the tease of summer vacation? Whatever the excuse, there is not denying that the last weeks of school is that point of the year where your academic and social life clash in a battle as intense as a SJU vs. Villanova Temple basketball game.

If you’re a freshman, this is the part of the year when you realize that time passes by faster than a 50 minute class, and your freshman year is coming to an end. Wait, my naive ways and ignorant behavior is not acceptable sophomore year? Although most of you are taking GEP classes, which don’t demand hours upon hours of study, all of the sudden you find yourself skipping class and not doing homework in Club PLC. We suggest you don’t take the general courses for granted and actually try to do well because it will help you out for next year’s phenomenon– the Sophomore Slump.

Being a Sophomore is complicated: you are old enough to know better, but still young enough to not care.  This is why when the option between tanning and getting ahead on your 10 page paper due next week comes, you might find yourself doing neither and taking a nap. Drama and Sophomore year go hand in hand like that annoying couple at class. She doesn’t even go here. Of course Sophomores are going to have a hard time doing work, most of them just want to have fun with their newly discovered “real friends”.

Junior year is the last stretch before starting to apply for jobs. Yet do they really expect them to be completely dedicated on their work when they’re all turning 21? The bars in Manayunk are calling my name, and it’s really hard to say no. However, because Juniors have already had two years of “last weeks of school”, and they actually care about their grades because they’re going job searching next year, they probably got most of their work done at the beginning of the semester and only have a couple of more essays to finish. A Junior that has not done this just has a case of pre-mature Senioritis (happens to the best of us).

Senioritis. It’s real.

Hawkward meter: 6, 8 if you’re in PLC

-Ze Hawk

The Hawk Guide: When Skipping Class

Have you ever wondered how you can have less hawkward moments? Since it seems that there are many awkward hawks on this campus, we have decided to introduce The How to Prevent Hawkwardness Guide. The Hawk Guide, as we like to call it, will serve as an instruction manual to either decrease or increase the hawkwardness in any situation.

There are many things a hawk needs to keep in mind when skipping class. Skipping class could quickly go from taking advantage of that one time you can miss, to bumping into your professor right after class ended. If you’re planning to skip class in the next few days you might want to look at these tips.

1. The first thing a hawk needs to think about before they skip class is what kind of day it is. If it’s raining, skip. There is no reason to experience Hawk Hill on a rainy day. If it’s sunny, you know people around campus will be happy so class isn’t that bad. If you’re a girl it’s a perfect excuse to look cute. If you’re a guy, I’m sure you’ve been dying to wear your shorts and finally go to class on your skateboard.

2. There is only one way to guarantee no hawkward moments when skipping class: stay home. You won’t see anyone from your class and you will definetly not see your Prof. Plus, why would you hang around campus when you’re skipping class?

3. If you need to stay around campus, look at your syllabus and check where your Prof’s office is and avoid the building his or her office is at all cost. There is no need to sit outside the tables of Science Center when skipping your Environment class. If you can’t find your syllabus try MySju.

4. Sleep is the best way to take advantage of the time you’re not in class. If you’re on campus, go to the couches at Campion or PLC. Although the quiet area of Drexel library is nice, the couches are not comfortable. No need to start getting back aches at 20.

5.  The benefits of having a bigger campus is not only all the new facilities, but the chance to prevent Hawkward moments. Take advantage of the two campuses and avoid being on the campus where your class is. Remember, your also avoiding the building your prof’s office is in.

6. If you see your professor before or after class there’s only one thing to do: cough. Cough like you mean it. Make it realistic, don’t try too hard but cough once or twice. That way he or she will think that you weren’t feeling good. Maybe throw out an e-mail saying you were feeling sick.

7. Finally, if you’re not really sure what to of or where to go, the answer is always The Perch. Have you ever seen a professor there? You can sleep, study, play pool, or even just get free soda. It might be hawkward because it’s The Perch, but you won’t see your professor there.

So now you know hawks, these are the best way to avoid hawkwardess when skipping class. The only way you can fail is if you bump into your professor in the gym. Obviously the “I didn’t feel well” e-mail will not work for you. Hawkward.

– Ze Hawk

Couples’ Meeting and Date Spots

We’ve all seen them, or have possibly been them… couples that meet on campus for dates couples’ therapy sessions (you know who you are). Here’s the list of the top most Hawkward spots to meet with your significant other on Hawk Hill.

Finnesey Bleachers: This seems to be the most well known meeting spot for all of Saint Joe’s favorite couples. Its prime visibility and central location closest to the shuttle stop allow for everyone to see you resolving the fight that escalated at this weekend’s rager. “Why did you stand next to him during flip cup?” “I saw that picture of you with her on Facebook…”

Science Center Tables: Clearly you want everyone who is walking to Campion to see you.

Starbucks: Definitely a more intimate setting for the more serious Hawkmates. Hopefully the chairs in the back corner are free, but if not there’s a good chance you can snag a table overlooking the scenic City Avenue traffic. Also a great option if you’re willing to spend a minimal amount of declining balance dollars. Classy.

Bus Stop Outside of Sourin: Usually a late night argument spot, this sort of meeting involves getting off the shuttle and talking screaming at each other while everyone else stands around you smoking cigarettes. (Sidenote: this type of meeting usually leads to the Finnesey bleachers meeting the next day. All highly publicized, of course.)

Cosi: The second, and pricier of the declining balance dollars options. Once again like almost every location, you will be seen by many. If you’re feeling really romantic, and you have declining balance dollars to spare, you can splurge on the s’mores platter during the cold winter months.

Anywhere off-campus that is accessible with the SJU shuttle: A for effort.

Explaining the Hawkward Meter

For all you fellow hawks out there, I think it’s about time we explain the hawkward meter. What is the difference between 1 and 10? Take these scenarios into consideration when deciding how “hawkward” your day was…

1. Think of Rashford. When was the last time you heard of something happening here? People go in, people go out.. definitely not too Hawkward.

2. Not having your swipe with you and watching the desk attendant stare at you in McShain while you wait to be let in to cross the bridge.

3. Unknowingly standing on the Saint Joe’s seal in Mandeville… looks like you’re never graduating!

4. Getting stuck behind a massive tour group on the narrow pathways on Maguire campus.

5. Realizing your Redshirts were sober in the Black Light Dance. How can someone have so much energy?

6. Having to eat lunch with your roommate’s Appalachia group.

7. The Saturday morning Campion awkward wave with the girls you were !*bEsTiEs*! with at the party last night. Do you pretend the encounter never happened? Do you stop and reminisce? Regardless of which you choose, its pretty hawkward.

8. Think of huffing and puffing up to the 4th floor of the Science Center, sweating and out of breath like you just ran 5 miles, and passing every single person you don’t want to see…

9. When you’re one minute late to class and someone sits on your seat. Everyone knows the unwritten rules of unassigned-assigned seating. 

10. Campion Student Center . Where all things Hawkward happen, and where freshmen get their first taste of Hawkward. Enough said.

–Ze Hawk and That Hawk

Hawkward Places: Club PLC

Well, Hawks, its official. The Post Learning Commons, after waiting the past year for it to be completed, is FINALLY done. We dealt with the overcrowding of the Drexel library, combined with the irrational heat and cold patterns, and it was about time for some more space so we could “study”.

But let’s be honest. The only thing better than procrastinating alone is procrastinating with friends, and Club PLC has allowed us to take our bad habits to a whole new level. 3 floors of socialization space, complete with a food center that sells the coolest hummus and cracker combo packs, what more could we ask for?

The huge windows allow for optimum people watching/stalking, and the beautiful views of McShain and Lapsley Lane aren’t too shabby either, especially as the days get longer and warmer.

Speaking of days getting warmer, the steps outside of Club PLC need to be addressed, and the builders and architects need to be commended for giving us yet another reason to not do work. These stairs scream “college”, and aid us in our procrastination tactics in ways Saint Joe’s has never seen before. Tanning, people watching, and complaining about how much work we have to do never felt so great.

Hawkward Meter: 6

Passing through this area could potentially be a social nightmare. Trying to avoid someone or avoid being seen completely? Good luck with that one, these stairs allow for prime visibility at all times.

–That Hawk

Registration Week

In this week of registration there is only one question in every Hawk’s mind: Why does the Registrar Office fail every semester? 

So in honor of this Registration Week, Hawkward presents to you the top 10 most hawkward fails of registration

10. Your professor says he’s offering a class but for some mysterious reason you cannot find it

9. Policy courses are full by 9:30AM

8.  All of your requirements are on the same time slot

7. No Science classes are available

6. Accepting the fact that you will have to take five classes in a row on Thursday

5.  After you based your schedule on taking a class with a certain professor, they switched him to another time

4. Finding out Mosaics is really hard after you picked the class

3. Not being able to get in a class because of a major/minor restriction

2. MySJU crashing 30 seconds before your registration time

1. SORRY, THERE’S A HOLD ON YOUR ACCOUNT

Happy Registering!

-Ze Hawk